Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
