I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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