were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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