I wanna bring you to show and tell
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
