I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
