planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so let's talk penis.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
