I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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