Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
