Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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