So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
is that a dick in a sweater?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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