i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
