Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
