): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet