Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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  (908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k
  Replies (5) Good night (4624) Bad night (692)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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  (440): We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate. http://tfl.nu/v1r2
  Replies (9) Good night (1626) Bad night (4308)
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  (415): View more from California

  Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.

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  (415): Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself. http://tfl.nu/x6rs
  Replies (18) Good night (5461) Bad night (954)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

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  (561): Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad. http://tfl.nu/jajh
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (5385)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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  (915): You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs http://tfl.nu/qhlh
  Replies (10) Good night (2511) Bad night (1567)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.

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  (201): Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea. http://tfl.nu/863y
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.

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  (402): He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is. (1-402): Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors. http://tfl.nu/lcrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1694) Bad night (490)
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  (661): View more from California

  Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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  (661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49
  Replies (9) Good night (2188) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude

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  (519): you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude http://tfl.nu/j4kw
  Replies (8) Good night (1704) Bad night (427)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.

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  (402): I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story. http://tfl.nu/wp0p
  Replies (11) Good night (689) Bad night (1840)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?

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  (330): Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure? http://tfl.nu/lg4r
  Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (821)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna

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  (416): 7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna http://tfl.nu/ilm9
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.

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  (303): Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept. http://tfl.nu/gkl8
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.

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  (304): When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/a3k2
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (565)

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