He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
