Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
