I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.