just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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