oh god the rape fog is back!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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