Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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  (919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself. http://tfl.nu/ufys
  Replies (46) Good night (745) Bad night (3407)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf

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  (503): My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf http://tfl.nu/5frw
  Replies (28) Good night (1436) Bad night (7251)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1960) Bad night (5269)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.

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  (360): She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/qt2q
  Replies (19) Good night (4833) Bad night (1081)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.

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  (203): Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad. http://tfl.nu/yb7a
  Replies (11) Good night (1430) Bad night (3425)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.

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  (250): I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk. http://tfl.nu/hrak
  Replies (4) Good night (3466) Bad night (959)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!

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  (973): They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on! http://tfl.nu/sa0h
  Replies (11) Good night (1312) Bad night (838)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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  (+44): you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home? http://tfl.nu/3r4f
  Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (492)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"

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  (417): All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?" http://tfl.nu/7ine
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (437)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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  (908): My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER. http://tfl.nu/023o
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (389)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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  (931): I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl" http://tfl.nu/ovhn
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (352)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

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  (416): so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness http://tfl.nu/y6iu
  Replies (11) Good night (857) Bad night (348)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.

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  (443): He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right. http://tfl.nu/8wdq
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (295)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on

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  (205): Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on http://tfl.nu/iumc
  Replies (4) Good night (323) Bad night (200)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.

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  (708): i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex. http://tfl.nu/k4pn
  Replies (1) Good night (143) Bad night (31)

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