FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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