I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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