how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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