Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
