Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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