How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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