This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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