I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
