i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
