I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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