Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
