so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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