You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
