Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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