he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
