Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
