Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
