How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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