I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
