That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize