did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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