I think I am morally bankrupt
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
