$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
