ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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