I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
