I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i out mim tonsoeep
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
