whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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