Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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