im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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