She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
