i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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