Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
