so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
