I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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