so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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