i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
