i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it fun? or sober?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize