I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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