I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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