The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
