well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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