I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Terrible idea I love it
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
