I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
