Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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