Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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