If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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