did you get engaged???
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Plan B is the new Plan A
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
