matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
