Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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